By Jordan DCS
So, ever heard of Dereck Chisora? Me neither, well, not until this past weekend. I’ll give you some background on him: He’s a British heavyweight boxer who just challenged human destroyer, Vitali Klitschko, for the WBC heavyweight championship. Chisora kind of looks like he’d give a lot of people nightmares, especially white people.
Chisora is a special kind of fighter. Is he special because he just fought for the WBC heavyweight title? Hardly. Chisora is special because he’s fuckin’ crazy. And this weekend his craziness finally boiled over in a discharge of glory. Well, glory if you’re finally letting the entire world in on your little secret.
It began as any normal weigh-in stare down would. The media was there, spotlight was on the two main-eventers, and Chisora thought to himself, “how can I make this moment better?” and by better he meant crazier. Aside from looking like he’s about to rob a train.
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Oh, and this was just the beginning. The bitch slap was just the beginning…
I think what sets Chisora apart from the pack is his willpower to say, “this is not enough. I’m crazier than this.” Which leads us to fight day.
If you’re familiar with Vitali Klitschko, then you know he has a younger, equally as frightening brother named Wladimir, who everyone ranks second best heavyweight under his big bro. It’s kind of tradition for these guys to support and corner each other during fights. Cornering meaning in between rounds they give advice on how to beat the shit out of opponents further. Well, apparently, Chisora doesn’t give a fuck about this real-life Brothers of Destruction tag team and showed it in one of the grossest ways possible.
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I, for the life of me, do not know how certified badass, Wladimir, did not start strangling the life out of Chisora after this. Wladimir just kind of smiled with a look on his face, kinda like…
Yeah, kinda like that.
During the bout, Chisora wasn’t as crazy but did give Vitali a good fight, eventually losing by unanimous decision. Klitschko should be thankful he got out of the fight without being bit… Didn’t I mention that Chisora has bitten an opponent in the ear ala Mike Tyson? Well, he totally did.
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Oh, but the fun didn’t end there, folks! Just when you thought, “hey, I haven’t seen a post-fight brawl lately, I’d like to see one.” Well, your wish is Chisora’s command! Enter David Haye.
In the tradition of post-fight brawl, this got ugly and quick.
That’s fellow British heavyweight boxer David Haye getting into it with Chisora after the two exchange some words. And punches…
After allegedly being “glassed” or “bottled” by Haye, Chisora started shouting death threats to Haye, repeatedly saying he was going to “shoot him.” Wow, Chisora, you sure knew when to come out loud and proud with your craziness. Ladies and gentleman, I give you Dereck Chisora: The Perfect Storm (of Crazy). What a weekend!
And what was Vitali doing while all of this mayhem with Chisora and Haye was unfolding?
Smiling like a mother fucker.
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