By Sean MacIntyre
Oh Two and a Half Men, you haven’t changed a bit. Even with Ashton Kutcher you’re able to stick with the same formula. I mean who doesn’t like watching a show where you can see the joke coming? Anticipation just makes us anxious, so it’s great to watch a show that takes jokes done many times before, and does them again! Once I saw Alan with Charlie’s urn I felt the comic tension melt away knowing that Alan was going to spill the ashes. Now I was able to watch the show for its story and character development.
Ok I’ll stop with the sarcasm. “You know Sean; sarcasm is the lowest form of humor”. Yes but thankfully Two and a Half Men has set a new low for standards. It has officially set the bar for lowest form of humor that millions love. Sorry Jeff Dunham.
Shows like that get to me. Why do people like watching this formulaic humor? Well instead of me bitching about how much I hate the show I rather write a scene for it. It’s easier than thinking of clever jokes. Enjoy!
Alan: What’s that smell? Smells familiar.
Charlie: The scent of a woman? Oh wait, you said it smells familiar.
Alan: No, it reminds me of the art teacher’s office back in high school.
Charlie: I wouldn’t know. I spent my time in the sex ed teacher’s office. My only “A” in high school.
[Laugh track with cheers]
Charlie: I made brownies.
Alan: Oh yummy. Are they in the fridge?
[Stops Alan from fridge]
Charlie: I mean, yes, but you can’t have them, there special.
Alan: What’s so special about them?
Charlie: I made them…with Mary Jane.
Alan: Spider-mans girlfriend?
Charlie: No you idiot. Marijuana.
Alan: Oh sorry. I just watched Spider-man.
[Giggle laugh track]
Alan: You put Marijuana in the brownies? Why the heck would you do that?
Charlie: My new girl likes it. Let’s her enjoy sex even more, and she’s getting it from an “A+” sex student.
Alan: You said you got an “A”.
Charlie: The new chicks a teacher. She upgraded my “A” to a plus and put a smiley sticker on my ass.
Alan: Glade I know that. Will you just put the brownies some where else so Jake doesn’t find them. I don’t need him to be more special than he already is.
Charlie: Fine. [Opens fridge] Hmm.
Alan: What do you mean Hmm?
Charlie: As in there not here, hmm!
Alan: Not here? Oh no, do you think Jake….
Jake: Hey Dad, have you noticed the goblins are melting the walls?
[Laugh track audience in hysterics]
Alan: Jake did you just eat some brownies?
Jake: Yea a tray of them, but for some reason I’m hungrier than I was before.
Alan: [To Charlie] what do we do now?
Charlie: Get him a Dr. Seuss book and a Pink Floyd album. He’ll be good in a couple of hours.
[Laugh track audience cheering and clapping]
Song Chorus: Meeeeeeeeen!
What do you think? Can you write your own Two and a Half Men jokes? Write some in the comment section so people can see if it’s worthy enough for such a high caliber comedy. God what a stupid show.