We like your money. More please.

By Sean MacIntyre


People of Ontario you just aren’t paying enough for your booze! That’s what our wonderful government wants us to know. They decided that the minimum amount we pay for alcohol shall rise by 50cents and 55cents.

Our current minimum for a 2-4 of beer will rise from $28.80 to $29.35 and our 750ml spirits will go from $23.40 to $23.90. This will all go in affect on March 1st.

This batch of news totally ruined the joy I had over the cup sizes going larger at Tim Horton’s.  Sure I’m getting more coffee, but the cost of the booze I put in it totally cancels each other out. My drinking and driving will never feel the same.

The government reminds me of one of those cliché bullies on T.V. that corner you for your lunch money. I wouldn’t be surprised if they got their goons at LCBO to take the extra cash then call you a fag.

What bothers me is that this price hike is affecting the people who can’t afford better quality products. These are the same people that travel great distances to get Native cigarettes to save some coin. If the Natives made their own competitive beer then the Ontario government would lose the customers they just raped for pennies.

Seriously what are you thinking? How bout putting the extra cash on a bottle of Grey Goose, or a case of Stella. The people buying that can defiantly afford an extra 50cents. I’m just tired of the little guy being stepped on. Its only a bit of a price hike but that’s how they do it and get away with it. Well not with this guy. Every time I pay that extra cash I’m going to pay in pennies, and the pennies will be sticky from cheap beer poured all over them, cause that’s the only way I can think of getting back at them. What will you do?

Yes my finger is up your bum. What of it?

5 thoughts on “Ontario Alcohol Prices to Rise

  1. Pingback: LCBO and The Beer Store: Raising prices! « Gerrorism.com!

  2. Informative and poignant. Your journalistic talents are realized here in this article. Thank god I live close to Quebec, where beer is sold the way it should be, at the gas station and for $10 a case cheaper!

  3. This is an interesting story.
    A price hike? Seems a little pointless. Especially since you have to actually go to a beer/liquor store to buy your beer!
    Move to newfoundland, you can buy beer at corner stores!

  4. I don’t live in Ontario… and even if I did, I don’t drink! hahahaha
    But I’m sympathetic to beer drinkers and I would certainly press the “unlike button” to the raise of prices, if there was one.

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